c&u

cold & unavailable.

....she is

Make you a believer...

This depression/anxiety is kicking hard today.  It's funny because it's the first day in weeks where I haven't woke up feeling sick and hopeless.  I was so pleased to wake up in a good mood.  But it wasn't a good mood.  It was an example of my issues that no one believes.  You think people fake being bipolar or what have you?  Go live with them for a couple months.  That way you'll see beyond the painful facade of trying to keep it in around outsiders.  Come live with me.  I will turn you into a believer.  

Kunt

I hate you,

 your cheap, über decorated,

 over-rated fucking

 ------

 Kunt!

Fd15

thanks

thanks a lot. this shit is just about over.  fd 15

I am "the devil"

my mother calls me the devil now.  as does most of my family.  the only people that contact me want money.  my landlord told me we have to find somewhere else to live.  shits getting worse.  getting close.  real close.  got my time card.  just looking for the clock to punch this shit and peace the fuck out.

Hey mom

You're a fucking cunt and your husband is a piece of shit.  My dad left the earth years ago, but you guys are dead to me.  So glad that's out of the way.  

may be closer than ever

this cant go on much longer.  

No one

No one can relate to this depression and it's longevity.  I think most people punch their own card before getting as bad as this.  No one gets it.  I wish someone would tell me they get it.  But I can't even talk to anyone about it anymore.  Everyone has grown tired of my "drama."  If someone in your family was dying from cancer or diabetes, would you get tired of them?  Would you say "they are so needy and faking it, and just want attention" ????  Right.  No one would. But that's why peope who suffer from this kind of depression just self medicate or end it all. Because no one takes it seriously.  Thanks everyone.  Hope this makes sense to you now.  

Am I the last empathetic person on earth?

Seriously.  Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person around anymore that cares whether or not they hurt someone's feelings, even if I don't know them.  It's called empathy, and as far as I can tell, not one motherfucker on this planet has it anymore.  Ironically, everyone seems to to possess a general APATHY towards others.

I try to do nice things for people.  When someone asks for my help I will come through if possible.  I help others.  Now I must implore: who the fuck has helped me?  My bro cut my rose bush down for me.  Thanks bro.  But you know what?  Fuck everyone else.  And I really mean it.  Fuck you!

I have a strong leather belt, good wood screws, a good drill and a garage with strong wood rafters.  Get it?  Besides having a plan, I am about to start giving away my possessions.  Then there's no turning back.  I feel bad for two people that may have the horror of discovery as the garage door mechanically opens.  Everyone else: I am happy to transfer my pain into your worthless brain.

I slave in my studio, making art for other people. 99% of the time it's for free.  All I really want in return is to be treated like a decent human being.  Maybe I'm not.  Maybe I'm the vicious dog that no one wants around; the demon everyone wants dead.  There's a couple good people out there, thousands of miles away from me, and in opposite time zones.  You know who you are.

This blog is my suicide note.  No one will wonder, and I'm pretty sure most people will say they are happy I'm not suffering anymore.  But the real point is that people are nasty, vile creatures.  I understand why most of them need religion.  Because they don't know how to be decent without guidance.  But you know what?  That shit isn't working either.  People are still selfish monsters, god or no god.  I am ashamed to be human and want out of this body.  If there's nothing else after this life? Good!  I'm fucking tired.

death come to me

i keep getting cuts from rusty metal. i dont wash them and hope for tetanus. later haters

Fuck being alive

I hope I die today

I hate life

I want to die 

Copy-me: A Webseries About Copying

wtfftw

leechesteeths

bats gnaw at the chewy vestiges of my pulmonary walls

Life is terribly depressing, that's why.

Like anyone with a heart or empathy, needs a reason to be unstable, depressed, suicidal or manic these days.  The idea of enjoying life is just taunted at us, and is also unattainable.  What's to enjoy?  We get a beautiful life on a gorgeous planet but continually make it the collective goal of man to suppress and smother that beauty.  We then spend most of our time feeling betrayed and hurt and saddened by that.  On individual levels, and as a species.   The only people that project happiness are the soulless, heartless, money driven, selfish, and particularly disingenuous kind.  They step on everyone and shine on with confidence as they take what they can get and behave as if it belongs to them and not the planet.  And all we get to cope with that is religion, alcohol, tobacco, pharmaceuticals and pornography?  And even then, there is always some form of policing from somewhere or someone once you start to find methods to cope.  Stay away from people.  If they can't observe your behavior,  then they can't attempt to spread their misery like the disease it has become.  Goodnight!

Being married is like

Waking up and having hope and wonder, and drive and motivation, for a new day, then having it trashed and stepped on.  Like a cruel entity blocking the sun, stepping on your neck, taking a shit on you while you gasp for breath.  Why do I gasp for air?  I don't even want to breathe anymore.  Fuck you life.

My upcoming album

No one will give a shit about it until I'm dead.  But I'm working on new songs everyday with no help from anyone because every musician I've ever known turned out to be a cocksucker.  Here's a sample of the artwork in progress:

creepshots

the next big hysteria.  wait for it........

image search results for creepshots on google

okay ladies.  stop leaving the house in skin-tight, should be illegal, "yoga" pants.  unless you dont care that every perverted man has a camera phone and is probably taking pictures of your ass.  and its legal by the way.  oh yes.  just no upskirts, minors, or privacy invasion.  your in public when you leave your property.

Get that gross tumor off your face bitch

http://instagram.com/rebeccakisicki

This dumb cunt

The best part about having a blog with no readers is....

I can say whatever the fuck I want.  

just when im about to give up, i got an idea.....

heres how to keep the little jerks in line

don't miss this amazing lyric

"Will my pony recognize my voice in hell Will he still be blind or do they go by smell Will you promise me not to rest me out at sea But on a fiery river boat that's rickety"-Mark Linkous

One reason I will be miserable forever

You know how people mention eachother or "shout out" on Instagram?  Then you will go and look at other peoples profiles and pictures and "like" pictures.  When I do that I always look at how many followers people have and don't have a clue how they get so many.

That will never happen to me.  No one will ever mention me.  I am a social pariah in the old fashioned way, and even worse when it comes to social technology.  Why do I bother?  Because I gotta try, I guess.  Also, I like to people watch without leaving the house.

Can't escape loneliness.

Mornings are just the worst.......

Or sometimes it's the only time of the day that i feel good. Life is unpredictable.
Unless your prediction is that you always end up in the same shitty places you try to escape.